Nothing to give
by purplebass
Summary: After their goodbye, Chuck and Blair still strongly care for each other. Will fate eventually make them find their way back? - Set after 4x22, I tried to imagine how the first CB scene in S5 would be.
1. Chapter 1

Okay so I know I need to update the other fic but while I was discussing with friends on fanforum about what the first Chair scene of the season would be for me, I imagined something like this. Some elements may be spoilery but not so much since I am mostly speculating basing on casting call and the two/three pics of Ed we've got. -pout- I hope you'll like it! Not sure wheter it's meant to be a one shoot or not. I'd love to continue this, so please review it to let me know what do you think! :)

….

_I wish I could say I've clung to time like gold  
>But as you said goodbye, I almost died<em>

Of all the things he hated in life, hospitals occupied one of the highest spots. They really made him nervous more than close a deal or argue with someone. It wasn't unexpected from someone who saw his Father die in one few years before, where his step sister was taken after an accident and drug abuse, where his step Mother was taken to cure her supposed cancer.

Chuck Bass hated hospitals more than he loathed unexperienced chiropractors or donuts.

He'd really wanted to avoid going to one in his whole life if not for a happy event, but did happy events ever happen at hospitals?

He thought about it for a second. His brain automatically gave him an answer.

_Babies._ Babies were delivered at hospitals and they brought happiness. They were probably the only thing that would make someone happy to visit that place. Babies were precious if their parents wanted them. They made their parents proud.

Not like him.

His Mother didn't want him, and neither his Father at some extent, and he showed his son the displeasure he had had in raising him because he resembled his Mother too much. He was one of those children who weren't supposed to be born. He wasn't wanted. He wasn't born from a relationship made of love. His Mother didn't love his Father. His Father didn't love him like he would have wanted him to. His Mother betrayed him. He barely had family.

He shook his head swiftly commanding himself to focus on the Medical Center, he was looking for the exit. He didn't know why it looked so hard for him to find it. He had come few minutes before and it had been so easy to reach the studio of the Doctor, why on Earth he wasn't able to find the exit now? He looked around only to see people sitting on blue chairs still waiting results or similar things. They didn't look all rich like him although this Center was really expensive... He shrugged and sighed.

He turned right once he recognize a picture he saw earlier on the wall, only to find himself in a long corridor full of young and old women. He looked at the wall and there was a little arrow that pointed right in front of him with the exit text, under a gynecology sign.

_Finally,_ he though, then headed for the end of the corridor where he saw the door as he was getting closer. His pace wasn't slow like he knew he had to be, but he needed to get out and breathe fresh air, the air of his city, not the rarefied one that was there. Plus it was Summer time so the air was even thinner than usual.

He thought that he might cross someone else's path once it was too late.

The person – a woman, he recognized – hit him right on his right ribs and he jolted with pain. His eyes were still closed once the woman talked. With gritted teeth, he tried to breath in and out in order to stop the ache that was slowly growing under his chest.

"Chuck" she said, and he cursed himself in his mind. The sound of her voice seemed to lessen the pain, or so he thought. He slowly opened his eyes to find two brown eyes looking at him with concern. "Are you alright?" she asked.

He tried to smirk but the pain was too great to even try to cope with it. He put a hand on his ribs as soon as she still gripped her hand on his left arm. "I'm fine" he finally answered, trying not to appear fake. She had to believe he was okay even if he clearly wasn't.

"Are you sure you are okay? Did I hurt you?" she made sure. He smoothed the jacket of his suit and tried to put himself together again. She still hadn't dropped her hand.

He smiled again and this time he looked more sure of himself. "It was just... Unexpected, that's all" he said, but he knew she didn't seem sure of his answer. He studied her face carefully and noticed the worry in her eyes. It was because of him? She didn't have to know what he was there for. "I was looking for the exit. Do you know where it is?"

She giggled, suddenly moved by his apparent calmness. "Want me to accompany you?"

He didn't think when he answered. "Let's go."

Blair finally dropped her arm from his and they started walking. They didn't want to hurry for some reason, so they walked slowly as if they had stones under their feet. The real reason was that they both didn't want to say goodbye already. The first time and the followings had been painful. The last time they had not exactly waved goodbye had been too hard to handle. This was the first time after he saw her leaving for Monaco with her future husband that they were seeing each other. The first time they were alone after they had hardly letting go of the other after that Bat Mitzvah, the last occasion they had shared a happy moment together.

It felt awkward now being together at a hospital, the last place he expected her to be.

Chuck opened the exit door for her, and she got out. The sun made him close his eyes a bit and he instinctively looked at her. She exchanged his glance as if she had sensed his eyes on her, but they didn't say anything. It was as if both didn't know what to say.

He automatically turned left when he noticed where his limo was parked.

"Wait" Blair said, and his body barely shifted in her direction. "My car is over there" she pointed her finger to the opposite direction.

Chuck nodded and hardly smiled for a second. Silly him. He got used of her coming with him in his limo that he forgot they weren't together anymore. She had private cars now, maybe pricey than limos. She didn't need them or anything from him. She wasn't his anymore. She wouldn't ride in the same vehicle as him, ever.

"Sure" he smirked as sadness fled through him. He tried his best not to let her acknowledge how he was feeling. He opened his mouth as to add something, but no words came out.

This was goodbye, again. This was goodbye but they weren't ready yet.

_Be strong._

"So... I have to go. Louis is waiting for me at home."

Chuck nodded and started walking away. He felt like saying something after two steps he made, and turned to her again. He was surprised she was still watching him... He sighed. "You know, you really seem happy Blair. You're glowing."

She smiled sweetly lowering her head a bit. She looked at him sheepishly. "Thanks."

He grinned back and walked to his limo, his fists unclenched. When he got in his vehicle he touched his ribs. It hurt so bad, and he had been so uncaring for days about the pain... He turned to check if she was still there. She was looking at his limo, and she kept looking until it took off. Once it did, he was sure he saw her smoothing her belly.

For the second time since he had fallen in love with Blair, he started imagining how it would be having a baby with her, and the thought saddened him more.

It would never happen.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm sorry if there may be mistakes when you read but I haven't had the time to revise the whole thing. I wanted to post it as soon as I could since I was inspired to write :P I really hope you'll like it. Things will go fast as the chapter pass. Tell me if you'd love longer chapters, I may be up for it before my holdays end. Comments are love :3

….

_I wish I could say that I've got no regrets_

_but saying that would be one more to pile on my desk_

Back at the Empire, Nate looked busy talking to someone he didn't recognize at first.

He walked slowly in his suite to find Dan Humphrey sitting on the red couch, a glass of what it looked like margarita in his hand. He didn't want to argue with him so he glanced briefly in their direction and then went to his bedroom.

Once inside, he got rid of the jacket of his suit and started to unbutton his shirt a bit.

He wanted to inspect the bruise he had on his torso closely. He had been so careless after he got it because it still hadn't became purple, but now he was regretting not contacting a Doctor. The pain was great and he couldn't walk properly because of it. Plus, it was easy that anyone could hurt it even more by bumping on him by mistake. It could happen casually at a party for example.

He raised the shirt and started to examine the bruise.

From the darker purple it was the day before it was actually turning into a light shade of lilac. He knew next stadium would be turning into green or gold, then it would fade... Hopefully.

He had gone to the Doctor that morning but he sadly saw he had left earlier. He may got late there because he hoped he wouldn't be in his studio, but he preferred to tell himself that he just mistaken reading his schedule. It was just a bruise after all. Not that he hadn't a lot on other parts of his body, they just were invisible. There were bruises left inside that you never show but that you have. They hurt more than these mere purple frailties caused by silly accidents. They would go away with time, not like inside bruises. Those on the other hand could last forever. God knew how long it would pass before healing the one he had on his heart.

"Ouch" he murmured under his breath.

He fingered the spot and the pain grew, and he wished he hadn't been so thoughtless in the first place to get that mark.

"Damn, Chuck" he heard all of a sudden. Nate had cracked the door open and he slid inside of his friend's room. "What is that? Are you hurt?" He looked worried.

Chuck kept watching his reflection in the mirror and then lowered his shirt.

"Believe me, you don't want to know" he said and tried to drop the subject as he fixed his shirt while he walked outside. Nate followed him of course. "Besides, aren't you busy with Dan Humphrey?" he asked just to make sure Brooklyn boy had left.

"Dan is gone. He needs to check on -uhm he needs to write an article for the magazine that has accepted him at the end of the Summer" Nate explained.

Chuck reached the bar and poured himself a bit of scotch. "Thank you Nathaniel, I didn't need to know" he said before sipping on his glass.

Nate wouldn't give up, he was sure. "What happened to you, Chuck? You didn't have that thing when we left LA one week ago."

His best friend sighed and looked carelessly elsewhere. "Nothing happened, Nate" he changed his tone, feeling slightly annoyed. "I just fell from the bed. Is that lame, don't you think?" he chuckled, trying to sound true. His sarcasm failed him though. Again.

"I know what's a fight bruise. I've had too many when we were in High School because I played Lacrosse and other sports, and the guys from other teams weren't really friendly sometimes. If you have been in one, I-"

"You don't need to know, told you. Is just a bruise, it'll disappear in few days."

"Some don't. You could have a broken rib or-" he tried to explain, but he was cut off.

Chuck rolled his eyes and spoke frankly. "I went to a Doctor earlier. He said everything is fine and gave me something to put on the thing" he explained, but Nate didn't seem to swallow it. He looked concerned and Chuck hated that stare. He was able to control himself and his life, he damn knew he didn't have to worry for that bruise. "Believe me when I say is nothing and stop acting as if you were my Mom."

Nate shook his head. "Sorry if I'm worried!" He exclaimed, suddenly raged. "We're supposed to be best friends. We check on each other."

"We're not ladies, Nathaniel. I don't wait outside the door of the bathroom for you."

"Enough with the sarcasm, I got it. Just think that whoever caused you that bruise... he's gonna pay. Drop the pride, Napoleon."

His friend turned and left the room, he heard the bell of the elevator rang after a while so he got he went out. Finally he had time alone, then. He had to shower and get rest for at least a hour. The bruise pulsed from under his shirt and he had no idea what to take to stop the pain.

Before he could throw himself in the bathtub, Gossip Girl dropped another of her blasts.

_Oh-la-la seems like old lovers reunited. Spotted in front of the Andrews Medical Center: our soon to be princess and our king. Who would imagine the pair would enjoy a date at this unlikely place? A source confirms B had a long visit at the gyno. No one knew what C was doing there but we know there was eye fucking. Is their flame still alive and what B's Prince would think of this? B, you need to tell him before tonight's celebration! Not every thing can be kept secret... Nothing is more entertaining than royal scandals! xoxo_

He rolled his eyes and drop the phone on the bed. Thanks to Gossip Girl he had remembered about tonight's dinner. He wasn't ready to face Blair again. Not that night where she would be with her annoying Prince. He could probably use an excuse, he thought. No one said he had to attend a stupid royal celebration in Louis name.

Although his mind suggested he didn't have to go, he did. He wondered what did help him to get off his bed after a long restoring nap for his aching ribs. As soon as he got up, they were hurting again. He shook his head angrily and had another shower to prepare for the night.

If he was about to see Blair and her family he had at least had to be at his best.

She and everyone had to know one thing in particular. He wasn't hurt and he won't be hurt. She had to believe he was happy and live her own happiness with Prince lame from Paris, and he had to try and figure out how to go on without her.

Who cared what he did, his facade with Blair couldn't be dropped.

Once he arrived at the party alone, he rolled his eyes at the highly royal room the celebration was held. It looked too weird, not too American nor European. It had a style he didn't surely love and what made it worse were pictures of Blair smiling with Louis on the walls. He thought he could vomit.

He stepped more inside and noticed his best friend Nate. Like the afternoon at his suite he was still talking to Dan Humphrey. He wondered what may had tied the both of them together, they looked deep in conversation talking about God knew what.

Chuck decided to change path to avoid his friends questions about his bruise and headed right, where there was the bar. He asked for a scotch, the only drink he thought could soothe the pain that was already started to grow on the right part of his torso.

"Isn't too early for that?" a joyful Serena asked.

He looked indifferent at her and sipped his favorite liquid. "Just trying to warm my throat."

"Mmmh. You wanted to say burn" she clarified with a giggle and then ordered herself a drink. "Chuck. Nate has told me about -"

"Good old Nate he couldn't keep his mouth shut" he complained.

"You need someone checking on you, it can get serious."

He sighed, slightly annoyed. "I find it annoying that he sent you to make me change my mind. He didn't see it wasn't that bad and that I can take care of me?"

"He told me it's big and it's on your ribs. Some may be broken" his step sister explained as Chuck started walking away from the bar and she had to follow him. "I've called my Father earlier in the evening, and-" she tried to finish before being cut off again.

"Is just a bruise, Serena. Don't worry too much about it" he recommended. "It'll go away."

She sighed "You're really stubborn, aren't you?"

"I don't get why all this hype. Is not going to damage a thing. Now if you'll excuse me."

Chuck tried to walk faster than he was able to and reached the room nearby. It was smaller though there were more people inside of it. He wondered where Blair was and somehow he knew that hadn't to think about her in the first place. He knew how hard it was since it was Louis party, but who said he had actually need to meet her?

For what, above all. Consider his life without her again? Being conscious for the tenth time that she didn't belong with him and she was getting married soon?

Being in LA had been too easy. Nate had tried to cheer him up and they had wild nights out with Serena at the most exclusive clubs of the State. They had danced and got drunk several times in order to let go of the worries of life, and just have fun. He succeeded in the purpose when he stopped checking Gossip Girl and its meaningless and hurtful blasts of Blair and her Prince doing shopping. The face he saw on those pictures didn't look Blair's happy face, though he tried his best not to think about it. A picture couldn't say everything since it was snapped all of a sudden. She was probably deep in thought.

He never stopped thinking about her of course, and so the pain eased a bit while taking long walks or daily trips to Venice on a yacht property of the Vanderbilts.

He wandered from room to room of the nice French embassy because he just wanted to avoid silly conversations about his bruise. He finally found a room that was empty at the end of the corridor, and got in. The lights were obviously turned off and he didn't bother to switch them on. He felt the need to be apart from other people all of a sudden, from his friends above all, and that looked like the perfect place.

He walked towards the huge windows where he spotted a balcony. He thought it would be nice to get fresh air and perhaps lit a joint when he felt other steps behind him of what it looked like heels, and he couldn't help but turn in response.

He couldn't believe it was actually her.

"Blair?" he asked, his voice far from sure seemed to echo in the large room.

She stepped forward. "Chuck?"

"Shouldn't be you in the royal room since it's your party?" he asked, suddenly trying to start what he wanted to look like conversation although he knew he didn't know what to say.

Blair seemed to giggle in the dark. He could barely see her face but he swore she had red lipstick and her hair up. He couldn't make out the color and the model of the dress she was wearing, but it looked black.

"Not exactly. Why are you here, though?" Her question looked bitter, so she rephrased. She didn't want to look rude. "I mean, why are you hiding? I thought you were a party animal" she shrugged and made an half smile.

He lowered his head a bit and shrugged. "I don't bear too much people tonight. And sorry to tell you this since your huh threw this party, but I'm slightly bored."

Blair smirked, but didn't answer. She noticed the way he had avoided to refer as Louis as her fiancé. It was still weird for her to call him that since it had been pretty clear to her and Chuck that it wasn't him the one he wanted to call that but eventually came to terms she deserved happiness and happiness looked like Louis to her.

"Why are you here, on the other hand?" he asked, not sure she would answer.

"Doing the same thing as you, apparently" she grinned.

"Want to get some air?" he offered, then walked towards the balcony. "Would other people see us?" he made sure, because he didn't know whether or not there were other balconies nearby, but Blair shook her head and nodded, suggesting him to go on and open the window.

Outside, the air looked unsaturated and finally both took deep breaths of relief.

Chuck went to the right and Blair to the left. They weren't that far from each other since the balcony wasn't that big, but still they sensed that they didn't know what to do or to say to the other after long time no see.

This was the second time that day they had met, and the first had been easier. They hadn't spoke much if not about finding the exit of the Medical Center and where were their cars. Nothing actually serious had been touched, and neither them. The physic element was missed between them, but Chuck thought it wasn't the case to betray Louis again and Blair's decision like that. People would know and he didn't want to destroy Blair's dream of being a princess.

He turned to look at her, surprised to got it right inside.

Her hair were up and she had pendants. A red lipstick marked her lips and a one shoulder tulle dress long up to her knees covered her body.

She wasn't looking at him, but at the city outside when he noticed her right hand on her stomach. He thought it was just reflex, but she seemed to smooth her dress right there, exactly how she had done that morning when he took off.

"Have you had a great time in Los Angeles?" she asked all of a sudden, he was still looking at her, and it was unexpected for her.

He nodded. "Yeah, it was great" he just answered. "Bet not as great as yours. You know how much I love Monaco, but I prefer it in the Winter."

"That's a really great city, I felt like home" she started to say, a big smile on her face.

He smiled back then put his elbows on the balcony's marble stone. "Great to hear" he managed to say in a whisper.

It wasn't really great. Once she and Prince charming would get married -damn he loathed how that word sounded in his head, but he had to get used to it- the possibilities Blair and her husband could keep living in New York were really few. He had a beautiful mansion back there in Europe, and he knew he would make sure to let Blair live a happy life as a princess.

Her dream would become true only if she moved on from Manhattan, from him.

He suddenly wondered if she thought about these things sometimes.

At some point Chuck coughed. Blair turned to look at him and he instinctively put a hand on his ribs under his suit jacket, the one located where the bruise was. The sudden cough had hurt him so much that he was now holding the molding with his other hand. To anybody he could look like someone who was about to vomit or had stomach spasms and needed to hurry to the toilet in order to make it stop. He was hating himself so much in that moment because he knew she would worry, and this was the last thing he wanted.

"What's wrong?" she asked, concerned like he thought she would be. "Where does it hurt?"

"It doesn't hurt" he lied, trying to put himself right and drop the hand from the balcony.

"Then why are you keeping his hand on your rib? Let me see" she hurried for his hand, but he recoiled back, hitting the end of the balcony with his back.

"It's nothing" he repeated.

"Blair? Are you out there?" a voice called and saved him. They heard steps moving towards the balcony. Thank God Chuck wasn't visible from outside since the window had a curtain.

Chuck acknowledged it was actually Louis calling her, so he nodded and smiled one last time at Blair as to suggest her to go and met her soon-to-be husband before he could catch her with him on the balcony and she wouldn't have a proper explanation. Wasn't so likely to find your fiancée in an empty room with her long time ex boyfriend. He again didn't want to be the cause for Blair and Louis to break up.

"Sweetie, I'm right here. I'm coming" she said before entering the room. He also heard her say to let's go out of there and not leave their guests alone before the resounding sound of the door closing behind her and her Prince.

Chuck exhaled deeply and gripped a hand on the molding to fix himself. Once he inspected the hand he had put on his bruise, he noticed it was red. He thought it was because of the balcony or something he didn't see he actually touched since the lights were down in the room, but then he realized it was its own blood. That's when he started to fear his friends were right.

….

Blair's dress: http : / www . Polyvore . com/cgi/set?id=35243010 (removed the spaces)


	3. Chapter 3

Hello everyone. I tried to write this chapter today and I can say I'm very proud I made it (it rarely happens lol). This one is a bit longer than the previous ones. I felt like writing more and I wanted to write more because I feel like I needed to develop few things... I hope you like it!

….

_You speak those favourite fables  
>Which I am yet to live <em>

Blair had decided to text him although she knew she was probably worrying too much.

_'Hope you are okay -B'_ she had simply written. She didn't want to sound too concerned yet not too much distant either. They were friends despite everything and she wouldn't try to get too far from him during those last two months she would be spending in New York before heading to Monaco. She knew she simply couldn't get away from her hometown like this.

Thing were already getting awkward when Serena had gotten back home, she had noticed something had changed while she was in Los Angeles this Summer and she hadn't any idea what. She was probably starting to see her less every week to get used to the fact that she won't probably see her best friend much once she'll get married?

Blair felt so stressed to also think about Serena so she decided to give it a rest for a while before actually ask her. She didn't want to act paranoid.

That day was being so stressful as well.

Dorota had called the designer Louis suggested so that Blair could tell her how she wanted her dress and the dress of her maids of honor. She wasn't clearly happy to do it today and her maid wasn't of any help.

"Got hours on phone to arrange this. Designer will arrive before lunch so be prepared" she had told her before she could have a shover which made her edgier than before.

The designer had been quite late to Blair's annoyance, but they made it before she had to go out with Louis' sister in the afternoon.

She had been running late because of that, she hoped that Martine wouldn't mind.

"I have been waiting for half a hour, Blair. Where have you been?" she asked when Blair approached.

She was sitting on a green bench and sipping a coffee at which Blair sent a death glare of disgust.

She sat next to her. "I've been meaning to call you. I had to tell the designer how I wanted the dressed and she lost hours debating on whether I should pick fuchsia or purple for the dresses for the maids" she sighed.

Martine didn't look quite happy of the news as she made a face.

"Is not too early? This wedding is happening too early" she commented.

Blair smiled awkwardly and folded her hands on her lap. She didn't know but she felt a nasty vibe coming from Louis' sister. They hadn't known each other if not for less than two weeks and every time she and Louis had talked about their wedding she never seemed pleased.

She thought that she might had prejudices towards her because she hadn't a title, but then she dropped the idea. She couldn't always suspect people acted the way they did because they didn't like her. Although she was Louis' sister and her future sister in law, above all her future sister in a way. Perhaps she was jealous of her brother?

"I can't wait to move to France" Blair continued. "This Summer has been great there, but I'm looking forward to pass more time there." She said with a false joy in her voice.

Louis's sister rose from her seat. "Not too soon" she said again, and Blair couldn't quite follow.

She stood up too and followed her. She had to start walking faster and it was too hot that day to keep that pace. She wondered why she was in a hurry.

She managed to reach her once she stopped in front of a hot dog stand.

The smell of those made her wrinkle her nose and for one second she thought she would vomit right there on the grass next to them.

"Do you want something to eat? I'm starving" she said and didn't wait for her again.

Blair struggled with her nose and the smell and stepped few paces back. She knew it had to happen sooner or later, but she didn't want it to happen this soon after the last time.

She wrinkled her nose before excusing herself and crossed the street. She knew for sure Louis's sister was watching her with attentive eyes from the hot dog stand so she tried not to be too fast once she entered in a low class bar to find a restroom.

She hoped Martine didn't follow her there.

She couldn't struggle with her too like she was struggling with Dorota at home.

The maid had noticed the change in her and the proof of it. Once Blair had left New York at the beginning of June, she soon called her to check if the test she had found in the bin was hers or Serena's.

Blair had denied it was hers because Louis was sitting not far from her on the couch of the private jet, and she didn't want him to listen to her conversation.

Once Blair had arrived to Louis house Dorota had called again like she had asked and Blair had admitted the truth to her maid. She needed to tell someone the truth until she would really feel bad about it.

She was getting married in less than two months and she was pregnant. Plus, the baby wasn't even Louis', she suspected.

The last time they had had sex was before she would be introduced to the French society, and that had been at the end of April. She remembered she wrote down the date of her last period and it was before that when Louis had arrived, so her period would've been on the second week of May at least. But it never arrived.

Blair had been edgy since then and now that it was the beginning of September she wasn't sure if she had settled to the idea of being pregnant or she was still hopeful to get her period, but when she had started to throw up few weeks before the ending of August, that probably proved the first option and that she had to get used to it.

She wasn't sure how to feel about it.

She was engaged with Louis and she wanted to marry Louis, or that is what she kept telling herself as the week passed and she was forced to prepare her wedding.

This would've sounded perfect if the baby was his. It would've been the life she had envisioned since she was a little child coming true.

A perfect boyfriend who happened to be also a Prince, and a baby on the way.

This was how she had wanted her life to be when she was also with Nate and she knew how it all ended up.

She fell in love with Chuck, never truly stopped loving him even when she wasn't with him.

Her future changed from the moment he had told her I love you. She had started to imagine a family with him with several kids running in a penthouse, twins perhaps. A girl with brown hair and a brunette boy, both with hazel eyes just like Chuck.

She still had that in mind although he had let her go in the spring.

The reality of the baby she was may carrying would make all of that come true, but she wasn't sure Chuck would want her back again.

He had let her go. He had told her he will always love her, but he knew she now belonged to someone else and she was sure he wouldn't interfere like in the past. He understood.

Yet the baby was real. What she was supposed to do?

She was careful enough not too touch anything in the restroom and then went out.

She had been there for more than fifteen minutes, hoping once she'd went out that Martine had decided to go home rather than wait for her there. For her relief, she did.

Blair sighed and kept holding her belly when she called a taxi to take her home.

She needed to figure out what to do before someone else could find out.

….

Chuck had been in bed the whole day after the party.

His bruise hurt too much but at least it stopped bleeding when he put some ice on it.

Blair had texted him to check if he was okay but he avoided answering her.

He hated she cared if he was hurt, but at the same time it warmed his heart knowing that she still thought about him and how he was feeling.

He wanted to answer so bad but he decided not to.

Answer her text would mean start whatever friendship between them or worse. Something that could led her to come to the wrong conclusions and he didn't want that. As much as he still loved Blair, she needed to go her own way. Facts proved him he could make her happy but he could not make her happy for the rest of her life, which depressed him.

He felt good for nothing and he knew the only way to grow and distract was to focus on work.

His new Hotel in Brooklyn was his main concern at the moment.

"Still sleeping?" Nate asked around four. He peeked inside and Chuck covered himself more. He didn't want any visits and he didn't want his friend to ask him questions about the bruise.

Chuck groaned when Nate sat on the bed. "I haven't seen you yesterday anymore. You called an early night?"

He slightly turned to look at him then. Not sure whether to be rude or not.

He settled for indifference. "I was bored."

Nate nodded in agreement and perhaps he believed his excuse, but Chuck knew he wouldn't give up. "How are you feeling today?" he asked like a concerned nurse.

"Ecstatic, thanks" Chuck said with sarcasm avoiding to look at him.

He moved a little in bed with a hand secured on the bruise. It started hurting again.

"Look I know you don't want to talk about this." Nate started. "But you gotta go to a Doctor. Serena told me you rejected her too yesterday. She could call her father."

Nate kept looking at Chuck but he received nothing but the nape of his neck to watch.

He didn't answer his question and couldn't think of something to do to make his friend believe he was sick or wanted to sleep to recover the hours he couldn't drift off because of the pain he had been feeling on his ribs.

He couldn't tell Nate how he had got that bruise nor that he bleed at the party after a cough. He couldn't risk him being involved furthermore and get in trouble. As much as he knew Nate was really strong and he was good at defending himself, he chose not to be selfish this time.

"I found your stained shirt from yesterday night..." Nate said after he received no answer. "You know that if blood flows from a bruise there's the high possibility that your bones may be broken? Or tendons and ligaments perhaps? Have you thought about that?"

He couldn't keep himself silent anymore as Nate started to talk as if he was a Doctor.

He sat down abruptly on the bed causing his ribs to feel more pain than before. He was lucky Nate had focused on his hands for a second if not he would've seen him.

"I can't believe you looked into my laundry." Chuck said shaking his head with a bewildered face. "I thought you and I were friends but I didn't think you as a stalker, Nathaniel."

He hoped Nate hadn't notice his hand on his ribs under the cover once he answered him.

He was getting serious.

"I am doing this because I care about you" he exclaimed, but he knew he wasn't accusing him. He knew how was hard for Chuck to confide to people. "Do you really want a an internal hemorrhage, Chuck? It can be hard to heal your ribs later."

"I have not such thing, Nate. I can assure you."

"Don't lie to me. I've been friends with you since kindergarten and I can read between the lines." He said with decision. "Those kind of bruises may be life-threatening. You would need your whole life to get yourself together again if you're lucky."

"I did not know you had a degree in medicine" he said bitterly.

Nate shook his head again and stood up.

"I got you don't want me to help but let me give you the number of my family's physician."

Chuck didn't answer and looked away with a frown.

He wanted the ache to end but he didn't want to ask for help. Nate and Serena worrying was already too much to take and he didn't want that. He wanted to be at peace and burden alone.

Nate left a tiny calling card with the name and the number of the Doctor and left.

He didn't say anything more considering Chuck was ignoring him on purpose, perhaps he could get that he didn't want to be bothered for the rest of the day.

….

Next day was Wednesday and he had to check on his new Hotel.

Last time he had been there it had been hell. He didn't dare to remember every painful minute of that day, and hoped things would go better today.

It had been four days he hadn't gone there to check the Hotel.

The truth was that he was seriously afraid that what happened could happen again, but he decided not too be too alarmed it will because it would've been worse.

He went out of his limo and entered the building. The man was standing next to a column where few guys were putting the carpet on the floor. That place would be where the living room of the Hotel would be.

He looked around him and was pleased that since the last time few decorations and wallpapers had been added. The Hotel would open in two months and he wanted everything to be perfect by that time, especially because he intended to open his Hotel on the day Blair would get married so he wouldn't have to attend.

He knew this wasn't the brightest choice to show her he was happy she was choosing to marry the Prince, but what guy actually swallows the woman they love getting married with another man?

He surely couldn't grasp to the fact that Blair getting married meant also her leaving forever.

He wasn't strong enough to be there at her wedding and then see her going away. He couldn't fathom that Blair getting married also meant he had lost her forever.

He had tried to be better for her and change and now she was about to marry someone else. Someone he clearly figured could make her happy unlike him, despite the great love Blair had told him they had.

He blinked to shield thoughts of Blair both leaving and marry the naïve Prince.

He couldn't let the director of the works worry for him too like his friend had.

"I didn't expect you today Mr Bass" the man sad as they shook hands.

Chuck gave him the coldest of smiles. He wasn't in a good mood.

"I had several problems these days and I couldn't come" he managed to say while looking at a young guy applying wallpaper on the nearest wall. "I hope the project is going just fine."

The man nodded. "Everything is more than fine, Mr Bass. The guys here have almost applied the wood wallpapers you wanted and the other guys of the first floor are doing the same. They are also setting the carpet in the room and applying things here and there" he explained.

"What about the problem with the drainpipes?"

"We have a plumber coming over in the noon. I'm sure in two days everything will be okay."

"Good. I'll check around and then I'll leave. Have a nice day." Chuck said as he walked towards the elevators and turned right to reach the stairs. His slow brain that day made him believe they already worked well which wasn't true.

He had to admit the Hotel was shaping really great.

As he just saw the carpet and the wallpapers of the future reception and ground floor area were almost finished.

It really cheered him up that at least one thing in his life was going well, but he knew it wouldn't last like everything lately. It seemed as if the pain was always around the corner.

When he arrived on ground one, he went to check the works. Nothing really new there since they started working on that area for a week that far and it was needed at least two weeks to finish every floor and decor it.

He went out of the building a hour later and safely got in his limo. He had decided to give the Archibald's doctor a call and try to see him before lunch so Nate would be happy and Serena as well and they won't bother him anymore for a while.

The man accepted to see him although he confessed he was about to go home. Probably the fact that he was Chuck Bass had triggered something in him.

What a pity.

He knew he had a name but he wished that he would say he couldn't see him today so that is masochistic instinct of feel the pain would be satisfied like when he accidentally found the study of the doctor of the medical center closed.

….

"Are you coming over S?" a rather annoyed Blair had asked her best friend the day after she went out with Louis' sister.

It was afternoon and for her benefit no one had to come over to try dresses and stuff like that. Louis was busy doing something at the consulate and they couldn't meet, so she figured she could use some time with her best friend.

"Hello to you too" she said on the other end. "Why the call?"

Blair rolled her eyes at the answer.

"We haven't seen each other for two months, Serena. How you doing?" she asked with a fake happiness. She wondered if Serena was busy.

Serena sighed audibly. "Can we please talk later, B? I can't be on the phone right now."

"Sure."

Serena hang on without adding more words and Blair sighed. She couldn't believe this was the first time after week that she had the chance to speak to Serena and tell her she had missed her best friend and she didn't want to talk. What the hell was more important than talking to her? Was she with somebody else? She had no idea nor want to know. She thought that if Serena wanted to talk she knew her number.

She sat back on the bed and tossed the phone not far.

She was annoyed. She was seriously annoyed and had no idea what to do. She decided that since Serena wasn't available she could perhaps take a walk outside.

She went to the bathroom one more time before getting ready for the stroll.

She only took her bag with her and nothing else. She wanted to ask Dorota if she wanted to come but the maid seemed rather busy in the kitchen and she didn't want to push.

Things with here were getting harder to handle as Dorota had seen Blair less and less lively from one day to another. She told her to go to a Doctor in the state she was and Blair had reminded her she had gone few days before and her gyno hadn't found anything she should worry about.

Blair knew she had lied. The gyno had told her explicitly that she needed to do a blood test just to check the h Cg levels. She couldn't just tell Dorota the truth because she knew the woman would get all protective and order her to tell Louis and Blair didn't want to.

Yet she could and pretend it was his baby to be safe, but she didn't want to lie.

She had already lied too much to him about Chuck, saying the two of them were over when it wasn't true. In her belly was probably growing a Bass, not a Grimaldi. Even if that baby would ever be recognized by Louis, it will always be Chuck's baby and she couldn't go on with the thought of letting their lovechild grow with a father that wasn't his.

She knew for sure Chuck would hate her if he found out the truth. He didn't have a father anymore and wouldn't want his own baby to not know his or her father ever.

Then what to do?

"Oops."

She raised her eyes from the floor while she was walking near Riverside Park and her heart skipped a beat at the sight.

"Hello, Blair."

Chuck spoke with the softer voice in the world. He had a light blue jacket with dark blue pants on, a pink tie finished the outfit. She had seen him two days before at her and Louis' party and he hadn't texted her back.

"Hi" she answered shyly.

"Going out for a stroll in the Upper West Side?" he asked and raised an eyebrow questioningly.

She bit her lip. "I figured I needed a new pair of shoes so I went out..." she started to say as she told him the first things that came to her mind. "You know, for the fashion show my mom is having tomorrow. She wants me to go on the runway for her!" she giggled nervously.

Chuck nodded. He had his hands closed at his sides and in one she spotted a yellow envelope.

"Great."

"What about you?"

He shrugged and looked at the envelope and put it in his other hand. "Nothing, really. I went to check my business at the Palace and at my new Hotel. Routines."

"What can you say if we walk?" she proposed, and Chuck eagerly smiled.

They started walking in silence like few days before. Chuck keeping the envelope in his hand, Blair her bag in hers.

It felt awkward like at the hospital to just be there and be silent, just glancing at each other every once in a while.

Blair had noticed him eying her and she couldn't help but do the same. It was nice for her that Chuck seemed to still glance as if he was in love. He probably still was, like her. But since she wasn't his anymore he was trying to also be discreet.

She wondered if he had told her the truth. Being there to check on his business and that's it. Just doing the same routines like he said, and then do nothing.

She also asked herself if he had been happy after they last met before the Summer.

She knew it had been difficult for him to let her go, but she knew it had to happen. She would be jealous if he would get a new girl to love, but the truth was that she had to accept as much as Chuck was hardly trying to accept that she was getting married with Louis.

When he was next to her she let herself travel in a parallel universe which were her dreams.

She started imagining how it would be like if they were walking there next to the park, as a couple, an engaged couple.

He was really close to her and she had an engagement ring on her fourth finger.

If people didn't know who they were they would probably think they were together.

She smiled at the thought but hoped he hadn't seen her. She couldn't let him ask why she was smiling and her answering that she was happy she was getting married. It would've been a lie and it would hurt his feelings.

As much as she told herself she had to act like a friend, she knew how much Chuck was weak for that matter and he needed to know that she didn't want to brag that she was marrying a Prince.

In her heart she knew what she really wanted, but her mind told her she had to stick with her choice.

He had let her go, and now she was following the path he had let her go to.

"How are you feeling?" she asked out of the blue.

She couldn't forget how he looked like on the balcony two days before.

Chuck frowned but then acted indifferent with the question. "Why?" he asked, trying to keep his facade on. He knew he had made the wrong question though it went out impulsive.

Blair sighed. "While we were on the balcony, you... Perhaps it was something you ate the the party?" she tried to guess not to seem too much intrusive. "I can give you the name of a good doctor if you got a food infection."

He smiled widely and stopped by a tree.

"How do you think I feel?" he asked casually.

"You look good" she said, really sure he seemed okay.

He nodded. "See? You said it yourself. No food poisoning happened. You can tell your Prince his food was alright" he said with really small interest. "I am having the time of my life." He lied.

He would never dare to tell her the truth. He had a big bruise on his torso and it bled at the party. He had gone to the doctor already and he told him he had to have a chest X-ray to determine whether or not he had broken ribs.

He frowned in his mind at the thought.

Blair smiled and lowered her head for a second, not really sure of what to say.

"Why did we stop?"

Chuck barely tilted his head. "I am arrived. The Empire is not far from here and I have something to do when I get there" he waved the yellow envelope.

She didn't want to say goodbye just yet, but she felt like she had passed already too much time with him that day. It didn't felt right.

She forced a smile. "Yeah, is late. Well, goodbye Chuck."

"Goodbye, Blair."

He smirked at her and then started walking.

"Chuck" she called again before he was about to cross the street. He looked at her with a confused face. "Will you come tomorrow to the show?" she asked hoping he would say yes.

He just nodded his head and added "See you tomorrow" and crossed the street once the traffic lights turned green.

Blair kept looking at him until he disappeared into the crowd.

Seeing him made her happy and made up a bit for how Serena had treated her on the phone earlier.

She couldn't deny the way she felt about Chuck yet she had to. As much as she wanted him, she had made a decision and she couldn't move back again because that was the one and only chance she'd got at this, and she couldn't drop it.

Next thing she knew after he disappeared, she needed to go to the restroom again.

….

Here we are. What did you think? As you can see I tried to use picture set material. I won't always do it, it was just to create a path. I won't surely use spoilers if we got them, but set pictures are a whole other thing since I can just guess like you what may happen. Hope it's okay. Gonna upload this fic more. ;)

Reviews are love :)


	4. Chapter 4

She sighed nervously when the dress didn't fit.

It was the third she had tried, but that damn zip didn't want to work.

Her mother had gave her few dresses to try and she had to choose one to wear on the runway for the show that she would have that night.

It wasn't unusual for Blair, but she mostly used to go behind the scenes to check on the models and the dresses more than go on the runway herself.

She loved to control everything, now being a model wouldn't let her do her job and she loathed it. When her mother had finally gave her trust to wear one of her dresses she wanted to step down.

It wasn't that she didn't exactly love being in the spotlight, being watched by the audience as you walk the runway. The thing she was hating in that moment was that the dress didn't fit. It was a size 2 anyway, so that was probably the main problem. Blair was a 4 and for the models world she was already fat for that matter.

She loathed how models were so skinny, yet she thought it was better for her to be the way she was, just with a size 4 dress if her mother wanted her to go on the runway.

"Honey are you sleeping behind that curtain?" Eleanor asked in the afternoon.

Blair covered herself with the dress and smiled when her mother opened the dressing room.

"You still haven't tried that one? You should hurry! The show is gonna start in 4 hours and I want every one of my models to have their dresses fixed by then."

Blair bit her lip. "It doesn't fit, mother" she said shyly.

She hoped her mother wouldn't make a scene because of that saying she was fat or something, because then she would have killed Blair's small confidence.

"How it doesn't fit?"

"It's a size 2 not a size 4" she explained quickly.

Her mother smiled and shook her head. "How come I couldn't forget... I'll ask my assistant for your size. I bet she thought all the models were -" she cut herself off once she realized what she was going to say. "How are you feeling, honey?"

Blair frowned, slightly confused.

"Great?"

"You sure you don't need the bathroom or perhaps a cupcake?" she asked kindly.

She made a face. "You sure you don't need a cup of coffee, mom?"

Eleanor shrugged. "Or perhaps macaroons?" she asked again, ignoring what Blair had just asked her. She picked a box of macaroons Blair had put there few minutes before and gave it to her.

Blair just took it and looked at her mother with worry.

"What? You don't like those anymore? I figured you're just over stressed because of the wedding and you needed something to eat, that's it."

"Is there something you want to say, Mother?" she asked, straight to the point.

She knew that make that question wasn't exactly the best, but she needed to act as if she wasn't that queasy.

Eleanor shrugged. "Is there something you wanna tell me, Blair?"

Her mother's eyes were inspecting her, waiting for something. She knew her mother wanted an answer, but in that right second she couldn't think of anything believable to say.

What she could possible tell her?

_I'm pregnant, mother?_ She wasn't sure of her mother's reaction though she knew her mother wouldn't approve. A child out of wedlock whose father wasn't possibly the man she was going to marry? That sounded sacrilegious for a Waldorf.

Blair bit her lip and swallowed hard. She brought a macaroon to her mouth and then delightfully started chewing.

"You know Louis has made his sister bring me these from Paris. You should try one."

Eleanor looked annoyed by the answer. Perhaps she was really waiting for Blair to say she was pregnant.

She possibly knew?

Blair tried to keep a smile on her face while she swallowed the macaroon and finally her mother gave up. She looked at the box and saw it was the last one, what a pity.

Eleanor smiled. "Dear, if you want some more of those you can look in the other room anyway" she said noticing where Blair was looking. "You need to eat."

She shook her head when Eleanor started walking away and closed the curtain.

Her mother used to act weird in some situations, but when it came to fashion she never kid.

She remembered when she was a child, her mother asked her one month before if she wanted to take part in her next show. She did it just to prepare her, she wanted Blair to fit in a size 2 or even a 0 so that she wouldn't have made a poor impression with the press since she was the designer's daughter.

Blair obviously felt so stressed by that.

She wanted to go on the runaway in her size 2 outfit, but she often wasn't able to.

She wasn't an anorexic model. She was a teen who just wanted to have fun, but her mother never seemed to get it so she started to go on a strict diet that consisted in throwing up every little thing she ate just to be as skinny as the models.

Eleanor seemed to have changed at the present that Blair was relieved, but this still looked too worrying for her.

Her mother was older and experienced, it wouldn't be the first time she's seen a pregnant young woman. One of her models perhaps could have gotten pregnant or had a false pregnancy while they were working, it wasn't that she was the first one... She decided.

But also, could that be maternal instinct? As if her mother was _sensing_ something was changing in Blair's life?

That sounded not too in Eleanor Waldorf's style.

….

"Miss Blair, you want me to buy more cupcakes?" Dorota's voice echoed in the dressing room.

Blair had remained there the whole time alone, trying not to meet Louis' sister neither him or her mother.

She had opted to stay away from everyone because that day she was too edgy that she couldn't talk to anyone and not yell at them. Dorota was no exception.

"Cupcakes, Dorota? When on Earth would I want cupcakes?" she yelled.

Dorota looked a bit frightened, but she wasn't giving away too much.

"Because you ate all macaroons and I-"

"I didn't ask you for cupcakes, Dorota." Blair said with decision. "Above all, I hate cupcakes so don't you dare to ask me again. I'd rather eat caviar for one week than cupcakes."

Dorota frowned. "But you eat those in your bed at morning."

Blair glared at her maid. She shook her head and rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"Fine. You want to buy cupcakes, go buy cupcakes." She decided.

She didn't want to be that hard on Dorota, but it was weird for her too. She had hated cupcakes so much and for her whole life, but it seemed like she craved those sweets more than she craved macaroons or other things those days.

She wondered if it was the baby's fault.

Blair sighed and looked at her dress again when Dorota left the room.

This one her mother had given her suited her body.

Thankfully, she still fit in a size 4 and could still pretend her stomach hurt because of her period... She sighed at the thought. How much she was missing period pain those days people had no idea.

She at least hoped nothing would happen while she was on the runway because that meant social destruction.

She would be taken as one of those model who starve themselves to fit in their dresses, and she didn't want that.

She was finally healthy in that regards, and she had to keep her facade on for the French royalties that she was sure were watching her every move.

Louis' sister for example.

Blair had thought she may was stalking her.

Louis' mother had probably asked her to fly to New York to keep an eye on Blair, waiting for the slightest mistake to suggest Louis or their mother a valid reason to call off the wedding.

It was sad to know she was probably followed or something.

She felt so stressed and all she wanted to do was have some time for herself, probably doing a bit of shopping and meeting with Serena, but she knew she couldn't.

Serena had ignored the text she had sent her the day before.

She hadn't written too much, just that she wanted to talk and ask her best friend about her trip to Los Angeles since she had seen the pictures all over Gossip Girl up until two weeks before. But Serena kept herself silent.

She didn't answer nor called back, and Blair started to get paranoid for her too, thinking Serena may hated her for something or worse, she didn't have any more time for her.

She was about to get married after all... Leave her friends, leave everything behind.

She didn't care about the Humphreys but she cared about her friends.

She would leave Serena and Nate here. Yes, they could probably come to visit whenever they want, but it wouldn't be the same.

They couldn't go to Butter or Saks and couldn't party together.

Her life as the wife of a Prince would be so busy that she could not even party alone.

What about Chuck anyway?

That looked like the saddest goodbye, even sadder than the one they faced in May.

She would still see him on TV and if she surfed the net, but it wouldn't be the same.

A part of her thought she didn't have to do this.

She didn't have to get married with Louis and leave the country. Could she bribe him into living in New York? She thought not.

Could she not get married? She wasn't sure.

Not realizing her dream would also mean dishonor what Chuck had wanted her to do.

He had let her go to find happiness and became what she had always dreamed to become.

He wanted her to become a Princess.

Not pursing her dream now that she had the opportunity wasn't wise. She could lose her chance forever.

Yet, she wasn't fully ready to let go.

She was sure the baby growing inside of her wasn't Louis'. She couldn't leave the country with a Bass in the oven and keep living her life pretending the baby is French royalty when its obvious not.

And her morning sickness wasn't helping the cause.

….

Chuck had been buried in documents for the whole morning.

He had decided not to go to his new hotel that day because he had asked one of his trustworthy employees to look after it for him for the weekend.

He wasn't ready to get back yet, since he was starting to heal his bruise a bit.

The day before he had seen Nate's doctor and he had promptly went to the private center to have his chest X-rayed.

The results wouldn't be ready if not on Monday, so meanwhile as the doctor suggested he only had to take one pill after lunch and one after dinner and apply a cream that would help the bruise to hopefully disappear in few weeks and at the same time lessen the pain.

Nate hadn't been home since the morning before and so he didn't have anybody that asked how and what he had done to his bruise.

He had eventually got back home in the afternoon, not ignoring Chuck sitting behind his desk in the living room part of their suite.

Chuck had pretended to be deep in his analysis of the papers, but of course this didn't stop Nate from talking.

"How are you today?" He asked calmly. "My doctor told me you went to see him yesterday... He suspects you have a broken rib. I just hope you bought what he asked you, if not I could do it for you. I know you have lots of work to do."

He frowned and raised his head from the papers.

"I do have lots of work to do. I need to finish controlling these papers before tonight." He said hoping he would take the hint and leave him alone.

Nate instead sat on the chair in front of him.

"You can't ignore this, you know it."

Chuck glared. "Yes I do, Nathaniel. In fact if it makes you happy, I already bought everything I needed and went to have a chest X-ray this morning."

His best friend smiled widely.

"That's good."

He looked down at the papers again.

Nate had had his answers and now he wished he would get the hell out of the room.

He was inspecting some papers that concerned the Empire. Some things were off and some rooms needed to have their lights changed and beds fixed.

Check these things was ordinary, but somehow that day it bothered him so much, probably because Nate was looking at him not from far, and because he was also anxious to know the results of the X-rays. Plus, it didn't help the fact that he had agreed about going to Eleanor Waldorf's show that night. That meant meet Blair and obviously Louis, and he wasn't ready.

His mood was black that day and he didn't want to get angry at people who didn't deserve his rage, Blair above all.

He was sure if she saw him there in the audience she would go to him to say hi or how are you after the show, probably happy under Louis' arm that looked like a doggy always around her.

She wanted her happiness, but she didn't calculate how hard it was for him on the other hand.

He heard Nate's chair move and he stood up.

"Tonight me and Serena are going to that club we also went last week. Are you coming?"

Chuck raised an eyebrow and thought about it for a second. He wanted to answer to Nate's question but decided to ask something different before.

"Are you and Serena an item now? She looks like she follows you everywhere and vice versa."

He giggled lightly. "We're just friends, that's all."

"With benefits?"

Nate became serious a bit. "No, I mean we've spent the summer together and as I recall I haven't felt this happy in my life since the times we all went to the Hamptons or to Europe all together." He said as those memories were really old.

"This means you can probably become, then." He added bitterly.

Nate shrugged.

They had had a really great time in Los Angeles together.

Nate and Serena had spent more time alone than with him, though. They often took the yacht to go in the open sea to sunbathe and they usually got back to their house around 7pm, when he usually was starting to prepare for the night after he had spent some time at the pool with few models he called.

They also seemed to look at each other weirdly lately, as if they were rekindling their dead flame, or perhaps was just his feeling.

He hadn't complained much about his best friends go by themselves to places when he had already arranged nights with girls and few other important people of the place. He didn't mind being left alone with strangers since he was used to.

Nate sighed and turned to the window after a while.

It looked as if Chuck had silenced his eagerness to talk about random stuff concerning his life.

This made him believe he was partially right about Nate and Serena, but that Nate wasn't sure of his feelings or he was afraid Serena didn't want him.

Either way, their problem. He didn't care much anyway. He was worried for his hotel and for his bruise to think about his friends' sex life.

"You know, sometimes I think it's going to be hard." Nate said at some point.

Chuck looked up and saw his friend was still looking outside of the window. He looked barely sad, mostly in his own thoughts.

"Live here, in New York, without some of your friends." He said calmly. "Blair is going to leave soon. Serena has got a job on the West Coast and she soon will too. They're going to leave us alone, man. And I have no idea why I feel so sad about it. That's why I'm probably trying to spend all this time with Serena. I know I can go visiting her if I want, but it won't be the same. They won't be here with us anymore."

Nate's words echoed in the room, sharp as daggers.

It was as if truth dawned again over them.

Blair was going to leave town in two months, Serena at the end of the month. One because she thought she had found her perfect match, the other because she had found her perfect match as well, only in the form of a a job.

It wouldn't be that hard for him and Nate to go and visit Serena when she would move in to Los Angeles. The personal Bass jet would take them there in less than six hours whenever they want. Serena would still be their friend although she was in another state.

The thing was different with Blair.

She was going to move to another country, another continent.

See her would be harder and difficult. She would be buried in her work as a wife and such. He was sure Louis' mother wouldn't let Blair rule their princedom the wrong way.

Chuck looked away and felt suddenly worse than before.

"I admire the way you are reacting, Chuck." Nate continued. "It must be hard for you."

He smiled at the words. "If she's happy, then I'm happy." He just answered his friend.

In a way, he really believed this. In another, he felt such a loser because he hadn't been able to be the one making her happy. He was such a lost cause... he figured he should probably go on by doing what his father had done after his mother had departed.

A life as a playboy until he would find the woman to marry, as much as he knew no woman could substitute Blair.

He rethought, he could perhaps never get married.

Nate smiled. "Yeah, I should tell myself the same thing."

…

Few hours later he decided to go for the club Nate had suggested.

He thought it would be a better idea if he didn't attend Eleanor's show. He didn't want his mood to get worse than it was. He was already too nervous and edgy that he didn't need a prince who looked like Kermit the frog to aggravate his unstable humor.

Serena was waiting them at the bar, Nate had told her Chuck was coming too and she had been very happy of the thing.

She smiled at them when she spotted the guys getting in the room through the crowd and went to hug them. Chuck thought she was already a bit drunk perhaps, it's not that Serena was used to hug them every single day. They were just going to stay together and that's it, no need to show affection although he knew he needed it. Especially from Serena who clearly cared for him as a brother.

"I'm glad you made it! It's nice to see you here, Chuck." Serena said with a grin as they reached the barstool and ordered their drinks.

Chuck nodded. "To the old times in Los Angeles. We need to celebrate the ending of this summer."

"We definitely should." Serena agreed.

"We should drink as much as we can tonight." Nate added and fastly sipped his drink once the waiter gave it to him. Serena and Chuck did the same.

Of course Chuck had ordered scotch, while Serena a simple gin tonic and Nate a scotch too.

Chuck wasn't going to ask why the choice, but he got that Nate cared a lot for Serena and he was clearly sad of her departure in less than three weeks.

It was like him with Blair, he had just pretended not to realize it yet.

Both of them needed the strongest glasses anyway, and scotch was Chuck's favorite. Nate had learned well that Chuck's mood depended on what he was drinking. Scotch usually gave him the right amount of scorch in his throat after the first gulp, a hurting that he longed to feel every time he felt really depressed.

"So, what's going on here?" Chuck asked casually after the third drink.

Serena looked confused. "What do you mean by _what's going on here_? I don't follow you." She said as she sipped on her drink.

He was amused.

He didn't know why he thought about a question for Serena, it was probably the alcohol running through his veins already. He felt a bit vicious and Nate had just left his chair to go somewhere where he had spotted one of his friends from Columbia.

"I thought you were going to go to Eleanor's fashion show tonight. Ergo, I thought you were going to go on the runway for her."

Serena raised an eyebrow. "I'm not a model or something, and you know it. Perhaps I'm old for that kind of job."

"It doesn't mean you are trying to avoid Blair, is it?"

She looked surprised by the question. "I'm not trying to avoid Blair. She's my best friend."

"Oh, really? Then why haven't you met yet since we got back from Los Angeles? I know you barely talked to her at her party the other day. But besides that small talk, you didn't seem to be happy friends you used to be few months ago."

"She's been busy, Chuck. I can't go out with someone who's trying on wedding dresses and choosing the flowers for their wedding." She rolled her eyes.

"But you could try asking her perhaps. I'm sure she doesn't have a full time schedule." He suggested. "Or you don't want to?"

Serena's lip quivered and she looked at her drink. "Please, Chuck. Don't act like you are cold to Blair's wedding either."

"Are you jealous?" he asked, noticing too late it was a double cutting question.

She turned to look at him in the eyes and smiled bitterly. "Of who, a prince? I surely am not." She shrugged. "Is just... she's leaving us behind. Everyone of us. I'm happy for her but I also think it's too early for this. She's too young to get married."

He bit his lip. He wondered if Serena felt the same feelings as him about that, and he got an answered.

"You don't want her to go." He declared.

"Well, do you?" She asked with glossy eyes. "I know you still love her..." She said, then sipped another bit of her drink and looked away again. "Don't think it's easier for me. I love her too. I am not ready to let her go. She's the only friend I've got... beside you and Nate." She admitted shyly. "I want her happiness. But I also want her here with me. I miss her already."

Chuck drank as well while listening to his step-sister.

She was right. Oh, she was too right. He was feeling the same way but he never said it or heard it before.

He felt relieved Serena and Nate also looked sad for Blair moving on.

None of them was ready.

"Then try to spend as much time with her as you can." He suggested.

Serena looked on the verge of tearing up when she turned. She nodded slightly and a tiny smile appeared on her face.

…

Blair read Gossip Girl's text right before the show was going to end.

She had already made her appearance in her beautiful gown, and thankfully everything had gone the right way, but she felt so envious in that moment for no reason and she hated this feeling more than she hated being sick.

Gossip Girl had texted the following.

_Seems like our favorite UESers decided to met again for a friendly night! Spotted at the Chameleon Club, CSN drinking hard like good old times. Isn't someone missing, perhaps? Yes, she is. Our soon to be princess B was stuck at her mother's show and couldn't make it to the club. I heard the grey dress she was wearing looked amazing, but what about your bffs, B? I smell exclusion. Could they may be already preparing for when you'll say buh-bye to your hometown? I suggest you, don't be sad! I'm sure wearing a real crown will repay. They say when you are powerful you don't need friends, that may be true? XOXO_

First, she didn't think her friends were avoiding her.

Sure Serena hadn't texted her back and Chuck hadn't come to the show that night although he promised her the day before, but Nate kept calling her every day and sometimes also visit her.

The relationship with Nate was obviously different than the one with her best friend and her ex boyfriend, but he was also one of her exes and things had never been too awkward like on the other hand they were with Chuck and Serena.

She was aware that those two reacted really differently than Nate.

Well, didn't they want to congratulate or at least show her they were going to miss her more than they let her know?

She thought she was thinking too much and was forgetting that neither Chuck or Serena were likely to accept her getting married as much as herself. She was still battling with her will everyday to decide whether or not she was happy.

Considering two of the people she loved her the most in the world weren't showing any sign of happiness for her situation, she decided that they didn't have to give a damn about it.

They were probably never going to fully accept her decision, and she couldn't do anything about it.

Again, she was being paranoid and indecisive.

Why did it look as if she was doing what she always wanted but it wasn't the right thing to do?

Perhaps, wasn't what her heart really longed for?

"To happiness." She murmured to herself and sighed while in her dressing room alone as she drank a glass of fresh water.

In the background, the notes of the song playing in the room beside hers.

_If you love me, why did you let me go?_ Too often she happened to wonder that.

Dorota broke her thoughts and got in the room with a trail. It had various things, fruit and some desserts. It looked as if the maid had sensed she wanted to eat.

"Thought you hungry."

"So nice of you." Blair commented with a bitchy grin. "You can go now." She said, but Dorota didn't move an inch.

Blair raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"You need to tell Mr Louis about this. You pregnant woman. Father need to know."

She glared at her maid. "I'm not what you just said, Dorota."

"No lie, Miss Blair." She said firmly. "I know what is to be pregnant and fear father not want baby. I think you need to tell Mr Louis before scandal get bigger."

Blair rolled her eyes.

"No rolling eyes. Tell Mr Louis or Miss Eleanor. You can't deny, too late."

"Are you done playing the psychiatrist?"

Dorota looked serious. "Louis mother is tough woman. Won't forgive if you hide baby. If you tell her she will respect your honesty."

"Like you did with your parents, Dorota? Spare me." She answered bitterly. "I don't need your advice. Get out."

The maid looked unmoved and frowned, but decided to reach the door.

Before she went out, she said one last thing. "Tell him then no regrets."

Blair was left once again alone.

She sighed with relief. Now Dorota knew too. She wasn't afraid of her maid telling her mother, but was afraid she could go tell Louis or worse, his sister.

She had to tell him the truth sooner or later, but when?

She had to do damage control and take the situation in her hands before Louis would find out and reject her the worst.

She needed to assure him it was their baby.

Who would suspect anyway the baby wasn't a Grimaldi?

She was sure none had seen her and Chuck at the Bat Mitzvah hiding in that room. The secret was safe for her until the day she died, was it?

A knock on the door announced Louis' entrance in her dressing room.

He had a black suit on with no tie. When he saw her he smiled and she smiled back. Then he walked calmly towards her and gave her a quick peck on the lips.

His sister, Beatrice, followed shortly behind.

"You ready to go home, Blair?" he asked with his French accent.

Blair nodded and noticed Louis' sister was smiling bitterly, and she didn't like it.

She blocked Louis' and her path towards the door. "Wait, Lou."

"Have you forgotten something?" he asked his sister.

"Nope, I haven't. But Blair probably did." She said smiling at her. She looked like a bitch, and she had always knew it. "Haven't you, Blair?"

Blair swallowed and tried to look calm. "Actually, yes. What about getting married at the end of the month?" She proposed, and Louis' face enlightened more.

"In three weeks? Would be the best!" He said approvingly and gave her a kiss on her cheek.

Blair turned to Beatrice and she was still smiling, but this time her smile looked deadly. She had one eyebrow raised and Blair knew that was the symbol of challenge. She thought she knew something, but what?

Was it possible that she knew _that_ secret?

Either way, Blair had probably found the solution to her problems. Being quick.

…

Hope this chapter isn't a mess. I have had problems with inspiration, but I will try to write the ideas I had soon that I can update more often. Till then.

Note regarding Louis' sister: I called her differently in the previous chapter, but since the writers gave away via twitter that she was called Beatrice, I decided to use that name too.

See you soon, are appreciated :)


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